Wow, it sounds like you have gone through a lot of challenges and extreme weight changes. Often people want to completely blame the person struggling with an issue, when there are so many other factors. At the same time, some people want to remove all personal responsibility.

I can’t say that I have any kind of a solution for your situation, you clearly have researched a great deal, but it sounds like you need something much more simple and consistent compared to what you have done in the past. In my experience, willpower is great for achieving something, but won’t help you become someone. Willpower is great for positive goals, like climbing a mountain, or reading a long novel, but it sucks for negative goals, like quitting a habit, breaking ties with an unhealthy influence, or losing weight. For a change to stick, it requires a lot more honesty and introspection. And that honesty means we can’t always control the exact outcome we want, but honesty also tells us we may have more power to influence the outcome than we might think.

My weight has fluctuated as well. At 19 I was 180–190, but I was hovering close to 240 by the time I was 21. Then I lost 50 lbs over a year and half, but by the time I was 24–25 I was back up to 240. Then over the next year and half I changed my approach. Instead of focusing on intense exercise and dramatic dieting, I tried to consistently go on a walk every day(this definitely wasn’t my only exercise/physical activity, it was just the only required activity that I forced myself to do), and very light amount of intermittent fasting. I dramatically reduced my intake of simple carbs and most grains, and that made it a lot easier for me to regulate how I eat in a balanced way. At 32 now, I am creeping back up again, about 200 lbs, but I think this time I have a much healthier set of tools to manage changes.

I sincerely believe that talking a walk at a consistent time of the day helps regulate your biorhythms, helps you sleep better, helps regulate your hunger and appetite, and allows you a chance to really reflect on your life and release a lot of tension and issues that are beneath the surface. I also do basic breathing/movement exercises. It sounds so new age, silly, especially for someone like me who likes intense and challenging physical activities, but I can honestly say it’s much more effective doing simple consistent things than trying to do do something big and dramatic.